what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
if you want to ask a bisexual or asexual person about their sexual history to verify that they’re queer, but you don’t want them to take it the wrong way, try this useful communication technique:
give them twenty dollars and go away.
"it’s like freud always said," says the ‘psychologist’ character in the movie, making everyone in the audience who knows anything at all about psychology flinch involuntarily
I’m so amused because when Steven Spielberg was making Jurassic Park he’s like ‘I want 10 ft’ velociraptors and everyone else is like ‘Steven no, they weren’t that big’ and he’s just like ‘well damn imma put them in the movie anyway’ and then during filming some random palaeontologists found actual 10 ft velociraptor skeletons and Spielberg was probably like ‘told ya so’
basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”
boys unbuckling their belts is the hottest thing in the world tbh
i read this as “seat belts” and i was like “no stay safe”